Really messed up

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I am constantly composing entries in my head. They are usually about the sweetness, gorgeous face, bright smiles (etc, etc!) of Elena. But instead, she’s just gone down for a nap and I find myself waiting for calls back and freaking out and sitting here in front of the computer.

I messed up. Big. I missed the date to elect to continue our medical coverage (COB*RA) and that means we may have to cover all our medical costs for October. When we had Ellie. Oh my God. I’m nearly over hyperventilating and am waiting to hear from Medi*Cal to see if they would cover us and the ex-employers to see if we were somehow covered, but I’m just a big bundle of nerves waiting…

So, I don’t write nearly all month and this is what you get? I know, I should just erase it. I don’t really want to share my huge *%$#-ups, but this is me. Take me or leave me. Jesse says he still loves me.

And also, Ellie is the sweetest thing. Lovely girl!

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